the artist way: abundance ✿ pt 6 field notes

the full-body relief of no longer feeling late

the artist way week 6 end of week reflection ::

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01 :: morning pages report

“normally i’ve driven by ‘i need to do this, i’m late,
i don’t have time’ etc etc… but i don’t feel that rn?”

what kept showing up:
✿ hunger and tiredness as emotional amplifiers
✿ abundance showing up in unexpected opportunities
✿ Substack as creative joy
✿ 12-week framework as a possible life structure that just works for me???
✿ mini magazine editor identity energy as a new creative interest

i could feel my nervous system shift state into feeling caught up, light, and free. like damn, hadn’t felt this light in a long time! my brain didn’t have a clear explanation but my body could feel it. i thought, “this is abundance.” but it was actually relief. but now i think maybe they both give off a similar physical feeling?

my constant, invisible feeling of “i’m late” felt quieter this week than usual. i think it’s closing loops, following my joy, accepting change, and staying on my morning pages!

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02 :: chapter tasks

a lot of what i’ve been focusing on doing this past month has been centered around joy-finding and discovery.

had to go find some rocks this week, lol. so that was exciting as heck!

i’ve actually done this task twice in the past working through the book before, and have been secretly looking forward to it. I don’t know why, but here we are, we have arrived, I went out and looked for rocks. it was a fun practice in slow living and mindfulness. to me it taught me that abundance can be expansive in a slow way, and that’s acceptable to me.

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03 :: artist date report

this week i spent a lot of time indoors writing, designing, drawing, and photographing.

but i still reminded myself to get outside on a nature walk and touch some grass. in a way, my nature walks have become my daily mini artist dates, because they feel so restorative and fill me with quick inspiration. the walks feel unserious and undemanding. they feel like play, not performance, and my soul appreciates that (as someone who spends a lot of time being perceived online, lol).

getting outside in the mornings for a sunrise walk genuinely sets my body on the right tone for the day, just swimming in the golden light is becoming the only way to start my day.

my new home is so whimsical, with sooo many kinds of birds just… there. naturally. chillin on the fences and stuff. it’s absolutely fuckin’ amazing and i’m so grateful every single day over it. that’s abundance, for real.

my artist date this week was also me following my dopamine after closing a lot of open loops that have been weighing on me.

i felt free to create, make, design, draw, write whatever i wanted without other priorities breathing down my neck. I was able to define some scheduled artists dates in my summer sketchbook for July, that in itself was a fun artist date. it felt like an insane, impossible kind of freedom i hadn’t experienced in… a very long time.

i’ve started collecting feathers i find on my nature walks! i had been “waiting” for trinkets to find me because i been wanting to hoard something and here we were this whole time… already collecting feathers.

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04 :: blurts & affirmations

this week’s loudest scarcity voice was… drum roll please……….

^{blurt ::}

^{“i’m scared of rejection lol.”}

^{translation ::}

^{a part of me wants this new work opportunity so badly that my body kinda freezes before anyone has even said no.}

^{affirmation ::}

^{i can want the opportunity and still move without fear, or rushing.}

fear tried to convince me my own imagined rejection was already true, when it hadn’t even happened yet. it was all in my head.

why was i hurting my own feelings so bad, damn??? this was an opportunity not a freaking grand trial on my worth???

luckily my affirmations help regulate and center me when the fear and inner critic were running most rampant. I got my proposal done and sent off without rushing through the whole project out of anxiety. that’s great, restrained progress for me, haha. (now we wait. 😓)

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05 :: symbols + synchronicity

yellow-crowned night herons continue to follow me, and the color yellow continues to intrude on my life in a wonderful way: little gifties from the universe.

thank goodness for nature and birds interrupting my emotional spiral long enough to remind me i’m allowed to release it from my body and move forward.

i’ve been paying close attention to what steals my energy lately. Substack is a space that feels abundant and safe. lately Facebook has felt extractive to me, but i’ve wanted to change that! so i created a virtual global The Artist’s Way book club community where we can all chat in open discussion about our personal journey with the book more closely and in better detail with eachother!

everyone is invited to join the facebook group book club for open discussion! just join and jump in, ask questions, lets talk!!!! :)

_{join upp ::}

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06 :: the lesson

this was the week my body finally stoped feeling hunted by time. i was inventing less fake deadlines in my brain to miss, and i felt less anxiety as a result.

realizing this, what i carry into week 7 is hopefully… softer pacing, clearer boundaries with myself, less output pressure, more rest and more self-trust. i’ve sorta re-learned this week that a slower pace isn’t gonna murder me, and the time urgency feeling was a cage of my own construction.

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07 :: digital downloads

enjoy these freebies if you’re also on your own journey :)

⋆。°✩ outro ✩°。⋆

freebie downloads to keep you on task!

^{✩°｡⋆ reflection questions from nikki ⋆｡°✩}

^{✩ where am i confusing abundance with more output?}

^{✩ what already feels like enough if i let it?}

^{✩ what room gets my whole nervous system, and what room only gets my public self?}

^{✩ where can i create without performing myself?}

^{✩ what would change if i trusted open space instead of filling it?}